Sometimes i just want to….

Sometimes I get moments when I just want to call you and ask how you are?

But then I freeze and I can’t do it.

Sometimes I get times when I want to run into your arms and cry

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I get times when I want to call you and scream at you

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I want to just ask you why you did it all and let us go?

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I get moments when I want to see you instead of imagining what you look like now.

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I want to try and remember the good times from memories.

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I want to go for a walk around where we used to live.

But then I freeze.

Sometimes I get nightmares in my head at night and I try to lock them out but I just and I want to ask you why?

But then I freeze.

Sometimes just sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes I I I I I. Just want to try and remember something good about you.

But again I freeze, I always freeze my whole being freezes.

All I can say is that not sometimes but always I have the question why? What did I do wrong?

Keep thinking about working out my family history. Can’t do dad’s side but maybe your side. But it could bring out all the demons from everything from my past.

Why? Is all I can say.

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