How did the purest of love emerge when I had each of my daughter’s. Not a second goes by that I’m not thinking of all three of them. Loving and hoping that I can do the best job in the world for them. They are my living souls. The three purest beautiful people I love. I would do anything for them.
They are not spoilt. They have manners and mind the ps and qs.
But for me I will always have the fear for myself as mum that I will turn out like my biological mother. I have spoken before about her and how I am petrified daily that i am becoming her. The grip of fear that my bio parents have over me is a battle I no that only I can overcome and beat. It’s gonna he a life long mission. Sometimes I feel like I should do a Jeremy Kyle show and drag their asses on tv in front of millions of people and ask them.
But the hard part for anyone of the researchers would be to find my biological father. Unfortunately he used to physically and severely mentally abuse us. He was sent to prison for physical and sexual abuse and mental abuse and no-one has heard anything from him or about him.
Does it sound really stupid that he is the one that I would ever want to speak to. As I no nothing of or about him. I don’t remember what he looks like or anything. How much do I look like him? I have allsorts of questions but in the other hand I don’t want to know.
But all that remains is I am going to live every single day determined not to turn out like my biological mother. I will aim to be the best mother I can be for my beautiful girls. The love I have for them will never end and you cannot put a price on love.
So where does the love and instinct to love our children come from? How do we know to love our children?
How come my parents never properly love us or care for us? This one I think ill never no the answer to.
Take care all.